复旦大学研究生英语第二册课文翻译(8)

的关心和体谅，这种关注明显会影响一个人骄傲和自恋的程度，这是人之常情。比如，对于我们愿意结交的人，观察他们的细微习惯，爱憎及品味，然后注意给人所需，避人所忌；委婉地令他们明白你是观察到他们喜欢这道菜或这间房间后才特意为其准备的，或者相反，你注意到他们讨厌这道菜和这个人，所以小心翼翼地避免让其出现。对诸如此类细节的注意较之大处更能取悦自恋者，因为这令他们觉得自己几乎是你关心的唯一对象。

以上这些是你初涉世事所必备的秘诀。我真但愿我在你这般年纪的时候就能很好的通晓这些道理了；我自己则花费了五十三年的时间才悟得其旨，而你若能从中有所收益，我将乐于将之奉告。再见。

9A

Men and women seldom mean the same things even when they use the same words. For example, when a woman says “I feel like you never listen,” she does not expect the word never to be taken literally. Using the word never is just a way of expressing the frustration she is feeling at the moment. It is not to be taken as if it were factual information. To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license and use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. Men mistakenly take these expressions literally. Because they misunderstand the intended meaning, they commonly react in an unsupportive manner.

While one of the big challenges for men is correctly to interpret and support a woman when she is talking about her feelings, the biggest challenge for women is correctly to interpret and support a man when he isn’t talking. Silence is most easily misinterpreted by women. She may imagine the very worse and become insecure. But the fact is that men and women think and process information very differently. Women think out loud, sharing their process of inner discovery with an interested listener, while men silently mull over what they have heard or experienced before they talk or respond. This process could take from minutes to hours. And to make matters even more confusing for women, if he does not have enough information to process an answer, a man may not respond at all. Translation of Text

言如其人

罗宾·拉克夫

“女性的语言”，就是我们还是小姑娘时所学的那种悦耳（但未必文雅）、委婉、从不盛气凌人的谈话方式。文化偏见造就了允许我们讲的那种话，允许我们谈论的那些话题，以及别人谈论我们所采用的方式。学完语言课程之后，我们走向社会，结果发现自己在交际方面存在严重缺陷 —— 我们这样说不行，不这样